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The Indian who went to Mars and Jupiter

I like to write about science, but I also like writing humour, as you can see from some occasional attempts. I do not know if it has happened to you, but when I see someone writing well about science or writing hilariously funny articles or books, I dream of a day in my life when I would achieve similar levels of expertise. This sometimes causes an inferiority complex too. But what am I to do, when a person combines Science and Humour so well.

But the problem with this person is that what he thinks is science is actually humour. So what we get is this unique combination of pseudo scientific comedy. I am referring to this website. This is the website of one Dr.P.V.Vartak. He claims to have gone to Mars, Jupiter and Saturn on his own, the moment he heard that NASA was planning a manned Mars mission. Can you beat that? I am not joking. Here is what he lists as point No.71 of his achievements (he has listed 130).

Proved the existence of five subtle bodies by performing experiments of Astral travel to the planets Mars, Jupiter and Saturn. The reports found true when the spaceships gave their reports. The capacities of the five Koshas are well explained. Have travelled to another solar system by Anandmaya Kosh and saw a human being there on a planet.

If you too want to do it, read through his detailed expeditions to Mars and Jupiter. They have gems like

One day, late in July 1975, 1 went into ‘DHYANA’ (meditation) and then into ‘SAMADHI’ to get knowledge about the Mars. In this Samadhi I felt that I was standing on the Mars. But when I came out from Samadhi to the physical level I forgot everything. Only the impression of going to the Mars remained. Being a scientist I was not happy with this experiment, so I discarded this attempt.

The last sentence in the paragraph bugs me no end. He has also “Experienced the contraction of space and time due to high velocity in the space, on the planet Jupiter. ”

But about earthly matters too, he has made earth shattering discoveries.

  • Pandavas were reproduced parthenogentically.
  • It is proved that the twelve Signs of zodiac were known to the Rigveda and were in use.
  • Discovered that Kaikayi was a good natured woman, she really loved Ram, but taking part in the national conspiracy to defeat Ravan, she took the brunt on her and accepted bad name.
  • Sage Agasti knew electricity. He has described a modified Daniel cell. He describes electroplating and production of Oxygen and Hydrogen from water. Hydrogen was used to inflate a balloon, which could take a sedan into air.
  • Ravan was a good natured gentleman. Rama humiliated his sister, so he revenged by abducting Seeta. Ravan did not touch her, though she was in his possession for one year. On the last day he could have raped her and cut her nose, ears and breasts; but being a gentleman, he did not do that foul act.

Look at his sense of morals. Just because he did not raper he when he got a chance, he is considered a gentleman. What about not kindapping in the first place? Anywhere, why I am I getting into all these nonsensical arguments.

Moving on to the next one.

Discovered from Valmiki Ramayana that Hanuman was born on Amavasya and not on Pournima, as generally believed by all scholars and saints.

Give him Harry Potter and he will discover, Hermione is the mother of Harry Potter and not a friend as is widely believed. (My head is aching)

And this too.

Shown mistakes in the theory of evolution proposed by Darwin.

What have people got against Darwin. If you want to spend some time laughing out aloud, read through his list. It is incredibly theraupetic.

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